Day One–McLeod Summer Playhouse

Well, yesterday started my job at McLeod Summer Playhouse. I was a little nervous because I wasn't sure what to do or what needed done. I had finished what I could of my prompt book and had contacted or tried to contact. I had made my copies of the scripts and sent them out, gotten a hold of the rehearsal schedule, and made sure my actors where going to be at the right time and place. I needed to tape the stage (the process by which the stage manager and preferably some helpers lay out the ground plan on the floor of the stage in spike tape so the actors and crew will know where everything is, how doors open, how big of a space they have to play in and what the space looks like generally), but that was going to happen on Thursday. I had decided that I was going to go in, make sure all my keys work, meet the people who I didn't know or hadn't met yet, and get any information I could that I didn't have. Then I was going to go home and spend time with my kids before my 13 hour days started. Surprisingly, this is exactly what happened, in addition to learning how to turn the lights off and on in McLeod and learning what to do if all of the lights go out and I need to reset the lighting system. I met the person who is in charge of costumes right now (our costume designer actually won't show up until Monday) and talked to her about rehearsal costumes for Friday. And I also found out how to schedule fittings and make things work in that arena. I talked to the scene shop supervisor, Bryce, and got a groundplan from him. I got more information from my fellow stage managers which I had not received. I talked to the company manager about getting a car sticker. I think I got quite a bit accomplished and I found out what else I needed to do. All in all a very productive day.
    Although I did happen to feel out of the loop because I had not been sent the company list, which list everyone, what they are doing and their contact information. This in and of itself would not have bothered me, but I also didn't know Bryce so I had to make sure he got me put onto the MSP Google calendar, which tells us every event that is going to happen this summer during playhouse and how things are going to work. Again, just an oversight, probably on my part, and readily fixed, but then it happened again when I talked to John about my parking sticker. He didn't have one for me and I wasn't on his list. Okay, third time's the charm and it starts getting a little worrisome. Again, this was readily fixed, but I was a little nervous that I had completely missed something that everyone else knew about and that I was supposed to do and hadn't done. It's the feeling of being two steps behind everyone else. I have felt this way all my life, which is why, when it comes to stuff like this, that I try to get it done way in advance. I had my prompt book bought and started about two-three months ago. Why, when Bob (the guy who hired me) said that I should send out copies of the script, I had them out about 1-2 months ago. I hate the feeling that I am missing something or that I should have done something that I didn't know I was supposed to do
   But in the end, a very good and productive day.

Night Falls on 'night, Mother

There was this magical thing that happened during the performances of 'night, Mother. We started the show at 7pm at which time the sun is still up and it's about an hour to dusk and an hour and a half 'til nightfall, which is how long the show is. As the show progressed, night descended outside. We performed the show in the lobby area of the Unitarian Fellowship in Carbondale. The "back wall" of the stage was a row of large windows and doors that were mostly glass. This let in a lot of light. But as night fell, and the play became more serious and darker, so did the setting. With less light the whole set became more intimate, darker. It was a beautiful touch to the show and something we had not planned on. It made the whole show a touch more magical, mysterious and dark. I really enjoyed the effect the sun setting had on our show. I like the fact that we hadn't planned it, but it just sort of happened. Sometimes the most glorious things happen spontaneously. It was a subtle effect, but it was a beautiful touch.

'night, Mother

The Three Graces, the theater company of which I am a co-founder, is producing 'night, Mother by Marsha Norman as a suicide awareness benefit for the LifeSavers Training Corp, a organization that provides a hotline and counseling services for teens to help them deal with crises. Susie brought up the idea of a benefit dealing with suicide while we were working on Lion in Winter. She thought it would be a great idea for a community theater company to actually benefit organizations within the community. A theater company that helps the community instead of just being another form of entertainment. I thought this was a great idea. So, we decided on producing 'night, Mother because it deals with a topic that is usually never mentioned. Suicide. Suicide is a taboo subject mainly due to religious beliefs, but also due to the painful and confusing emotions is brings up. The problem with this is the fact that suicide and the feelings surrounding it, mainly depression, is extremely prevalent in the world. Almost everyone has thought or knows someone who has thought about it or who has actually succeeded in committing suicide. The statistics were scary when I looked them up for my proposal to the Unitarian Fellowship.
    But how does one bring up the subject of suicide? Why is this such a painful topic? I think it's because the people who are left behind, feel guilt and feel the pain because someone they loved hurt so much they killed themselves. I can't imagine what I would do if someone I loved committed suicide. My uncle did so when I was about 12 years old. He had left a note telling his family where he was and what he was going to do. They called a friend of hi and the police and they made it to the cemetary just in time to hear the gunshot. I remember the shock that everyone felt, along with the pain of losing a loved one. I remember people not being able to understand and the feeling of guilt at not being able to help him. At not knowing how much he had been hurting.
   I have also dealt with this topic in myself. Depression, loneliness and I have never seen those feelings so accurately portrayed as in 'night, Mother. The play revolves around a daughter, Jessie, telling her mother that she is going to commit suicide. The things that Jessie says. The strength of her conviction, of her decision, is a damn good reflection of those feelings. Mama is the embodiment of all the emotions that the people who are left behind feel. The guilt and pain and confusion. I have never seen the topic discussed so openly and honestly. It is refreshing. The play is painful to watch. It hurts in places that you may have forgotten about. The part of you that you don't let show to other people. The part of you that is the rejected lover. The part of you that feels like a failure or like someone who can never get better. But it does what theater is supposed to do. It makes you look at all the hard parts. It makes you look at all of the emotions and examine them. It makes you look at the world around you and see it in a different way. The theater is supposed to change people. Make them better. Educate them about themselves and the the people and world around them in a way that they can comprehend.and relate to on several levels.. It's purpose is not just to entertain. It is supposed to give a message. If you are brave enough to look at those parts and, even embrace them, I highly recommend that you see a production of 'night, Mother, whether it's the Three Graces production or another production somewhere, some time else. If you can look into the abyss and have the abyss look back at you, if you can look into the darker places, you can come out on the other side a different person,

Breaking Glass

Okay, so I'm working on this show, Beyond Therapy, at the Stage Co. in Carbondale and one of the sound effects that we have to do is the sound of a vase breaking. Easy, right? Just break a vase, sweep up the pieces with a broom and have done with it. Nope. Can't just break a vase backstage. It's just not safe. So, how do we do this? One of my actors, Jared, who plays Bob the spurned gay lover, mentioned that when they have had to do this foley (sound effect) before at John A. Logan College, they've gotten a box with gravel in it. Okay, good. I take my kids and spend about a half an hour picking up a bucketful of gravel. I get it to the theater and set it up for Jared to throw down the vase. Problem: The box I had wasn't deep enough and glass sprayed everywhere. Remember that safety thing I was talking about? Yup, that was it. So this wasn't going to work. Plus the fact that the sound didn't carry into the house (audience area of the theater). It just sounded like a thump. So, what next? We could have just laid the vase in the gravel and hammer it, but we would have the same issue with the sound and the safety. So I tried putting the vase in a plastic bag and hitting it against the wall. Another Bad Idea. It broke, but it also tore the bag to shreds in the process, so while glass didn't get me in the face, it did get all over the floor. Plus, the sound didn't carry. Again, it just sounded like a thump. Okay guys, we're going for the tinkling sound that glass makes when it breaks, not a thump. Next idea. Still use a bag and hammer the glass in the bag. That way there is nothing to absorb the sound and the safety is there with the bag, just as long as the bag doesn't tear again, which, theoretically, it won't because it won't get caught between the pieces of glass and some other hard, flat surface, like a wall. Just the hammer. Try it. Success!!! The tinkling sound was beautiful and the bag didn't tear and we were able to just dump the glass pieces in the trash. I try it one more time with the same bag and it was successful yet again. Yay! We had our solution. I dump out the glass pieces and get it set up for the show, vase in the same bag that I had been using. No point in wasting bags. Well, Jared breaks the vase during the rehearsal and about five minutes later, Susie, my ASM (Assistant Stage Manager) comes up to me and says that the bag trick won't work because she got a piece of glass in her toe. Not big or bad, just sorta settled there when the bag ripped. New solution: Waste the bags. Use a new bag for each performance and just throw the whole thing away. We will see tonight if that fixes the problem. Never thought breaking glass could be so hard, did you?

Suzanne Vega

Last night Jim, Karen and I went to see Suzanne Vega in concert at the Carson Center in Paducah. It was amazing! Jim has been a huge fan of Suzanne Vega since he was nineteen and I was a fan shortly after I met him. So, for the past almost twenty years, she has played a large musical role in our lives and when I found out that she was coming to Paducah, I saved some money from the tax return and bought tickets. It was so worth it. It  was a very intimate setting. We were in a room that would hold maybe 150-200 people max. It was only her and her bassist and guitarist on stage with her. It was about an hour long show and she took requests toward the end of it, of which she only played one because the others she hadn't rehearsed, although she hadn't heard Jim's, which was "Room Off the Street", and that she probably could have played because that one they had rehearsed and do play sometimes. We found this out when she was signing the CD cover of the album that we bought. So, not only did we get to see her in concert, but we got to meet her, have her autograph the CD cover and got our picture taken with her. The thing that struck me about her the most was how graceful and gracious she was. She was so much fun to watch onstage. One of the highlights for me was when she sung "The Queen and the Soldier", which is one of my favorite, if not my favorite, song of hers. I was brought to tears. It was truly beautiful.
 It was kind of sad though because there were a couple of light cues that felt completely off to me and I checked the light booth to see if I could see anything. I think also that Suzanne looked up there once when one of the cues felt wrong. So, my stage managing apparently will kick in now when I go to concerts or plays or other event in which there is a stage manager type person running the show and I will critique show based on those criteria. So much for just enjoying a performance! :) I will put up the picture as soon as I get it. Karen had to take it on her camera because my camera picked that moment to have a slight fit, so she will have to email it to me and then I can get it up on facebook or here.
The thing I'm the most thankful for though, is that this concert reminded me of my passion, which has been sorely lacking as of late, what with all the emotional ups and downs I've been going through lately. It made me feel good to know that there still is beauty and passion and grace and quality. That no matter what happens, that is always a piece of what it means to be human and that is the ultimate end for us. To live in this truth, beauty and passion. It was truly a beautiful night.

Explanation

I've been asked a couple of times what the title of my blog means, "Under the Blues". This is taken from the blue running lights that theaters use backstage during performances to see with. We use blue lights because they are not easily visible to the audience, but yet gives us backstage people enough light to do the things that we need to do.  Any other questions?

Last Day in Chicago

Yes, I realize that this is written, like, three weeks after the fact, but I hate leaving things unfinished. My last day in Chicago was very nice. I woke up and was taken for an hour long massage at a massage parlor, after which I gleefully undid all of the therapists' work by shooting off some guns. A couple of pistols and a couple of rifles. It was actually a very relaxing day. Getting a massage and shooting guns are both very different types of tension release for me and I was lucky enough to have both. And I didn't do absolutely horrible on the gun range. It had been about 15 years since I had last shot a gun. Although at one point, forgetting to take my finger off the trigger, I created a nice little crater in the ground and sent a bullet shooting off into space. Always listen to your trainer and always, always pay attention around guns. I learned my lesson. Then we got home and Jody and I took all the kids, Ben, Elisabeth, Ananda and Tristan, to the Museum of Science and Industry, which was a whole lot of fun. We got to see a German U-boat, although we weren't allowed to go into it because all of the tour tickets had been sold for the day. We also played in the play area and did some fun little experiments, like sending colored, plastic balls through a tube to another part of the play area, and discovered how gears and conveyor belts work. While Tristan, Jody and Ben were looking at the trains, Ananda, Elisabeth and I were looking at all the weather stuff. They had a floor to ceiling "tornado" , a wave tank, a pendulum and some kind of light show that we didn't get to see because it was time for the museum to close. It was a good day. Except when the museum closed, at which time the kids were very disappointed. But we got home and had dinner, watched an episode of Slings and Arrows and went to bed.
 The next morning we got up and threw the bags in the car and went to the train station. Ah, my last Dunkin Donuts for a while. I had Dunkin Donuts coffee every day we were there I believe.  It was great! How I miss Dunkin Donuts coffee. I've tried to buy it in the store and make it at home, but it just doesn't taste the same. The train ride back was uneventful and we arrived in Carbondale on time. I think the train rides were too short. I really like traveling by train. I would love to take a train trip out to the west coast and just sit and watch the scenery pass me by. It would be wonderful. And its so much easier to travel with the kids that way, just give them enough to do and the train will help fascinate them until the ride ends. Although, for a long trip it might be harder to keep them entertained. But we played Go, Fish! and Bingo in the dining car where we had a bigger table and that kept us occupied for at least an hour, and probably more if I hadn't gotten tired of it. It was actually a lot of fun. The whole of the trip was a complete success and I hope to do it again at some point.